If someone is having an online relationship with someone else of the opposite sex without their partner's knowledge, it is considered cheating, even if there is no physical contact. The fact remains if you are in a relationship with someone; it means that the both of you choose to be in a relationship with each other. But if a partner choice is seek other attraction and attention online from someone else other than his/her partner, it definitely means your partner is cheating on you. No amount of excuses can override their choices. An intention is a choice; a decision made to act on and carry it out is a choice.
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Getting the most from every minute starts with better organization. This means you need to be in tune with your immediate priorities and willing to stick with
them. As you go through your day it’s easy to get caught up in busy work and less important errands. Instead, draw the line. You need to stay focused on your priority tasks. If making a list helps, do it. If it means telling someone you don’t have time then don’t be afraid to say it. At the end of the day, you will have accomplished what is important to you. You won’t feel rushed, worn-out or stressed. Instead you’ll feel energized, productive and accomplished. Then, you can give yourself a mental pat on the back for a job well done. We all have a lot going on. Issues at work can seem hopeless; family and household demands zap your energy. You don’t have time for yourself and you are exhausted. When was the last time, you had time for yourself. You have as much a right to things like health, happiness and respect as anyone else. Stand up for what you need; exercise your boundaries. You owe it to yourself to speak up. It’s all part of becoming your best, and working your way toward a fulfilled, happier you.
Too many failed attempts may lead to frustration. Eventually, you either stop setting goals or surrender to the failures that overcome you. Overtime, avoiding disappointment becomes easier than setting new goals, altogether. Your heart wonders, what’s the use in trying?
Let your next goal be different. Before you start, break your ultimate goal into smaller goals. This way you’re placing your expectations of success on your immediate goal, rather than the whole project. By breaking down your goal in to bite size pieces, the whole can be achieved much more easily. With each milestone, you feel energized and motivated to keep on going. Instead of being stressed, frustrated, and disappointed, you can now feel good, because you have a doable method to achieve your goals that works. It’s overwhelming to detach emotionally from someone we love. You need to know when to say goodbye. This is the most painful aspect of detachment with love. Sometimes a relationship is impossible to salvage, and we must know when to say goodbye to an abusive relationship. It is never easy to see a loved one turn into an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend or ex-spouse, yet often for our emotional well-being, saying goodbye is the only viable option.
Abusive people will think it is okay to treat you badly, hurt you, play games and talk bad to you; it is all justified in their eyes. But the one moment you turn the table and give them a taste of their own medicine automatically you are abusive. You just get tired of taking it over and over and you stop allowing it to happen. Doesn't feel good when they are the receiver, but they sure don't mind dishing it out to others. There comes a time you get tired of being abused, you get tired of taking it day after day from them. And one day you reach that point that you aren't going to take it anymore. Then the abusive people become haters and that is okay because you can't make everyone like you even when you do things right. Many narcissists have a very loose and unaccountable life. Rules and regulations mean conforming to society and being ‘normal’ and the narcissistic is horrified about being non-unique. This leads to a precarious life of attaining image, status, possessions, objects and attention regardless of consequences. Many narcissists have a superior image to feel important. At the very least they expect to be recognized for their capabilities, if results are not yet attained. However, scratch just under the surface and there is a literal minefield of disasters waiting to happen. Narcissists consistently attract problems and severe consequences into their life. Life is chaotic and often disastrous. Inevitably a narcissist cannot maintain a falsely constructed image. Much of their image may have been acquired by deceptive means, whilst refusing to ‘play by the rules’. Ego driven immediate gratification is the name of the game. When attention towards lack of creditability, precautious debts, manipulating others for self-gain arises the narcissist suffers an intolerable narcissistic wound to his already severely damaged self-esteem. Any assistance or notification of the problems is a major insult and all lengths of denial, manipulation, aggression, intimidation, blame-shifting or pathological lies are used as defensive mechanisms to cover up or avoid the scrutiny. The narcissist doesn’t feel shame regarding his behaviour or the losses and damage he created for others. Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. It is the beginning of a new chapter of your life. You can waste it or use it. What you do today is important. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind. Let it be something good. There are things that we never want to let go of and people we never want to leave behind. Our sorrow overwhelms us so much that we no longer can believe in joy. Life just seems a cup filled to the brim with war, violence, death, rejection, loneliness and endless disappointments.
It is very normal while grieving instead of moving forward, we feel like you've gone backwards. So when the waves hit, it does throw you for a loop. You know that there is nothing wrong with you when it happens. It’s expected. At times like this, we need our loved ones and friends to remind us that we are not alone. It might be hard for us to trust that any joy can come from our sorrow. But when we start taking steps in the direction of our loved ones and friends’ advice, even when we ourselves are not yet able to feel the truth of what they say, the joy that seemed to be lost may be found again, and our sorrow may become liveable. It will get easier each time to pick yourself up, and start back on the journey of moving forward in your healing. The power you need is not found in faith, but in WHOM you place that faith. Always remember that in some way or another, you're somebody's angel, even if you don't know it. They love you and think of you even if you don’t hear it every day. Trust that there is love all around you, even if you cannot feel it. You are not alone. Too often, people spend so much time and energy dwelling on the past, dwelling on mistakes, or dwelling on disappointments. They don’t even realize that their focus is keeping them from moving forward in life. We have to let go of those past hurts; we have to forget the former things to make room for the new. Don’t spend time focusing on where we've been; spend time focusing on where we’re going. When we forget the former things, it means we’re not worried about the past anymore. We don’t allow it to dictate our future. The past is over, but our future remains.
Holding grudges against another takes a tremendous amount of energy and slowly erodes your happiness. If you think about it, it’s also a waste of time. You have so many better things to do with your life. When you allow your negative emotions to affect your daily thoughts and actions, you become controlled by them. Words can hurt. Watch your words wisely as they can stay a lifetime.
Take a check of the resentment you hold against your loved ones, your co-workers or even your neighbour. Try to overcome your resentment by letting your considerate and loving nature dominate your thoughts and actions. You can choose how to live your life. Free yourself from resentment and you will regain all of your energy. Try it. You’ll feel great when you do. Who do you associate yourself with, and why? Who are you gravitating towards, and how do you feel when you hear about their lives? If you hear about a friend who does something they’ve longed for, whether they find Mr Right or break up with Mr Wrong, going on a meditation retreat, or deciding to pursue a creative passion, and you notice that a part of you feels carried along for their journey, like a willing participant. That’s alignment.
In those moments, what others are doing is aligning with something that you desire for yourself. What that is, exactly, might not be obvious. Perhaps your friend letting go of Mr Wrong will translate for you to a desire to speak up about the places in your life where you wish to be more honest. Regardless, noticing who you choose to surround yourself with and why you choose those particular people can indicate to you where your own values lies. It’s the crisis of the modern era: stressed - out, disconnected, working so hard and not knowing what exactly we’re working for. Entire lives are planned around promotions and pay raises, or around simply surviving the day-to-day, and then we look around and ask ourselves: Is all this work actually getting us where we want to go?
The position of the person who has figured out how to work hard and achieve things, but has realized with a sudden and startling clarity that he/she doesn’t actually know what they really want. What do you do when you’ve pursued the things you’ve been conditioned to want, and find that once you’ve got them, they weren’t what you really wanted? Perhaps what you’ve sought was some outward measure of perfection , and now the journey is towards wholeness. Where do you start figuring out what it is that you truly desire? Answer: you start looking in some unexpectplaces. |
AuthorJulia G. Smith is a writer of Life-Changing Decisions. Julia's unique style will encourage, inspire and nudge you to "push" past your obstacles, help you to achieve your goals and ultimately improve your self-confidence. Archives
March 2024
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