How to be a good listener that others want to talk to?
To be a good listener you need to find out why, they want to you and what is the message; they are trying to share with
you? Being a good listener does not come easy for some of us. What comes to your mind, when you think about
listening to a significant other, friend, family or co-worker? Do you find yourself thinking about what you want to say in response to what they have said, or are you fully engaged with what they are talking about?
When it comes to connecting with others, it’s all about consciously listening to them and the information that they are sharing with you. Sometimes, all you need to do is just listen without saying anything and be more understanding, compassionate and not judgmental.
Focus on the other person.
Focus on what they have to say and maintain eye contact. It is important for you to have eye contact with the other
person at all times. It shows that you are paying attention and engaged with the conversation. When you don’t have
eye contact with the other person, it shows that you don’t care and are not interested in what they have to say. Once
the other person stops talking, then think about your response.
Limit distractions.
We live in a society that is filled with so many distractions. We are constantly listening to so much noise that it’s a
challenge to truly listen to another person. In order for you to be a good listener, you need to limit distractions during
your conversation, whether it is the television, telephones or any other interruptions.
How can you possibly be a good listener, if you have the television blasting or your phone continues to ring? It would
be near to impossible to be a good listener with these distractions. Limit as much interruptions as you can when you
are listening to someone else. This not only shows them that you care but you are practicing good social skills.
Engage yourself in the conversation. Being engaged is showing your attention towards the other person. Let the other person know that they have your attention and focus. When you are not engaged in the conversation, the other person
will notice and will most likely not want to talk to you again.
Show the other person that you care about them and are interested in what they have to say. One way you can show
this is by responding with a short comment such as “yes” or “I understand.” This expresses to the other person that you
are truly listening. Make sure that you allow the other person to primarily do the talking while you are still engaged.
Life-Changing Decisions by Author Julia G. Smith
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