When things go wrong, what really do we have to be grateful about?
It is no secret that gratefulness is correlated with life satisfaction and happiness. I believe that gratefulness and life
satisfaction go hand in hand. Despite this intuitive understanding of the importance of gratefulness, all too often when life throws us curve balls, this grateful mind-set all but disappears. However, the true test of resiliency and gratefulness is when life does not go your way.
Most of us can’t seem to get over past regrets, disappointments and life’s injustices and gratefulness is overturned by a sense of injustice. Experiencing loss, frustration and even trauma, especially if we feel blindsided, certainly can make it difficult not to indulge in negative feelings.
Death threatening illness such as cancer, afflictions and even the death of innocent people are unfortunately afflicting people’s life. Mother Nature such as tsunamis and natural disasters can wipe out even a community of
unsuspecting people, and the unfairness of life is regrettable and tragic for sure.
Grateful people don’t expect that life is going to give them everything they deserve. They realize that good things do not
always happen to good people, and they have given up the notion that life “owes them” anything more than it can offer.
After all, we might wonder, when things go wrong, what really do we have to be grateful about? No matter what happens
to us, if we “dig deep” we often can find that there is really plenty to be thankful for in our lives. The question is not if life is unfair, but can we move on in spite of it.
People who are grateful have hope and no matter what happens, hope is not lost. They realize the future is uncertain,
and while they plan for it, they do not try to micromanage outcomes that are beyond their sphere of influence. They take comfort in the fact that once the sun sets, it rises the next day. They have faith that there is more to life.
Those who are steeped in bitterness and grudges have no space in their heart to be grateful. Maybe you need to set
limits on your interaction with them, or distance yourself altogether as in the case of abuse, but carrying the torch of bitterness is going to hurt you more than them.
Forgiving your spouse for not being as understanding as you would have been, forgiving your children for making choices that would not have been your own, and giving up the grudge of a slight or injustice from a friend are all parts of the gratitude equation. Forgive others for not acting or being like you had hoped.
Gratefulness does not always come naturally, especially in the most challenging times. In such times, grateful people
work on keeping a good perspective. They might read affirmations, seek support from others, and get help for their sadness or anxiety. Some will seek counseling and do not shy away from the effort it takes.
By being grateful you will be able to separate your perceptions from facts and separate rational from irrational ways of thinking. Irrational thinking such as “It’s awful” and “I can’t stand it” is reserved for the most life threatening circumstance, rather than everyday petty annoyances and slights.
The bottom line is, you can choose to change your perceptions and have a right to change your mind. With this mentality, the doors that close yield others that now become open.
Each setback or unforeseen life event offers us lessons. After all, life is a great teacher and teaches us things that no one ever could. Even mistakes and failures are seen as learning opportunities.
Grateful people define their self-worth by their determination and their dreams, not their regrets and disappointments. A grateful mind-set has no room for excessive self-recrimination and low self-esteem.
Those who are stuck in past regrets are likely to see themselves as losers in life, or as having failed badly in even certain areas of their lives will not be able to be truly grateful that their lives still means something.
So, if you are down on yourself, this is a time to pick yourself up again and start afresh. It takes your courage and strength to work to succeed at anything. You have to be willing to work hard and believe you can make it happen.
Life-Changing Decisions by Author Julia G. Smith
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