If you are feeling down, helpless and in despair, please know that I do care. It’s the reason why I’m sending you this message. I want you to know that things will get better. Please remain strong and may love and peace always be with you. God Bless! ~♥~
Dear whoever is reading this; please know that however life batters you, you are not alone. Some of life’s challenges can truly hurt us. We all face difficult and painful challenges, some more than others. We all go through rough times. Sometimes, we feel like nobody understands or really cares.
If you are feeling down, helpless and in despair, please know that I do care. It’s the reason why I’m sending you this message. I want you to know that things will get better. Please remain strong and may love and peace always be with you. God Bless! ~♥~
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You wonder what happened, when someone who was “all in” a relationship surprisingly makes a 360 degree turn and proclaims, “I don’t love you anymore” or “We are not compatible.
Those who were confronted with this terrible “finality of a break- up” cannot comprehend or understand of how, a once so loving partner can suddenly be totally different and often even cold towards them. Sadly, there are those who are currently going through a painful break-up. They ask themselves the following questions. How can my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend stop loving me, just like that? Why did they have a change of heart in the relationship? Isn’t “REAL LOVE” supposed to last forever? One should be aware that whatever made them lose their sense of love for you, it happened gradually over period of weeks or months. Perhaps, they struggled against falling out of love. Perhaps, they even fought for keeping it. Perhaps, they talked to you and raised their concerns. Perhaps, they talked to others and obtained the support they needed to break-off from their relationship. Whether they fought for the relationship or not, at some point they gave up their sense of love for you. It’s a fact that there are those who can fall out of love and start to move on, long before the actual break-up happens. It’s a fact that “break-ups” doesn’t happen over-night. It is a process that has been thought off at the back of the scene for some time. When they finally initiate the break-up, they are well over it in their recovery and have moved on, in their head already. The fact is, they are weeks or months ahead of you and that explains why they are able to immediately jump into a new relationship, as many of them do. Often, they even use a new relationship as catalyst to leave. There are those who use the word “love” so “freely” but “don’t really mean it.” It’s fair to say that the abusers, cheaters, sociopath and narcissists weren’t “really in love” in the first place. They don’t respect or value “love.” There are those who confuse “love” with something else. This often happens when people look for a relationship to “substitute a need,” to fulfill their fantasies and desires, the “need” to not be alone, the “need” to fill the void, or the “need for “significance.” Some men use women to substitute their lack of self-esteem, or use them as a “status symbol.” Most of these relationships are on a “rebound.” Some people just want a convenient relationship. For an “eye-opener” one should focus on those who can’t seem to hold a steady relationship with “solid commitment.” There are those who “bail out” when the storm gets rough in their relationship. For example; generally at the beginning of a relationship, you both probably shared world-views, and had the same goals and expectations on how to grow the relationship. You see the world and your new partner through rose coloured glasses. You both have so much fun, and seem such a match. The both of you thought about how to make the next logical step “together.” Maybe at the beginning you both agreed to get married in the near future, have kids and the whole package. Maybe you both agreed to move in together and everything will be wonderful. While this may have been mutually honest, priorities can change. It’s fair to say that relationships have its “ups and downs” Perhaps for one of you, the priority changed when unexpected tough challenges surfaced. The love-drug subsites and slowly but certainly you are kicked back into reality. Suddenly there are differences. Suddenly there is friction. Suddenly there are terrible fights. The relationship becomes “toxic.” Suddenly there’s a break-up. Where has the compatibility gone? A seemingly ‘compatibility’ became ‘incompatibility’. The answer to that is; the compatibility was never there to begin with. The reasons why most people seem to fall out of love is because, they weren’t “truly in love” in the first place. Often we are not who we really are. We have given our best to be the ideal version of ourselves, even if that meant becoming someone else. We are so desperately trying to please the new partner; we want them to be a perfect match at all cost. So, we end up not being; who we really are. There are those who have difficulties in dealing and coping with relationships during dire and challenging times. Here are few examples, such as; a loved one faces serious health issues, a loved one has a serious accident and the accumulation of hospital/medical bills scales sky high. They are unemployed and are in financial dire straits and, so forth. In light of such circumstances, it can create friction and problems in the relationship. The pressure builds up and a partner/significant other then choose not to weather the storm “together” and instead look for a way out of the relationship. They didn’t bargain for this. They want no part of the responsibilities. It’s apparent to me that the answer to the above questions should perhaps be that a point is reached, when the relationship is everything but “the real” experience of “authentic love.” No one wants an artificial relationship that explodes after the expiration date. You want the “real thing” with a real you, as part of it. You are likely to be bitter but don’t allow the hurt to tear you down. You need only to realize how strong you already are. Love with healthy boundaries. Create the loving life you want, and you will attract the people who want this too! Let go of the ones who don't or can't. True happiness lies within you, it doesn't come from others. Some people won’t love you, no matter what you do. Some people won’t stop loving you, no matter what you do. I strongly believe that “real love” doesn’t fade away. “Real love” withstands all challenges good and bad, no matter what. “Real love” bond together through difficult times. Yes, “Real Love” last forever. All of us will age. It’s a process of life. As we grow in years, we see that time is not just the passing of days but the passing on, of wisdom. In fact given the wisdom and experience, we have amassed over the years; we can embrace new opportunities. If we seek new learning and stay motivated and lively at heart, we can still do anything.
We need to keep our bodies lively through healthy diet and exercise. We need to nurture and exercise our minds with new experiences, interests, challenges and new friends. We need to stay in touch with the world, no matter what our age is. We are only as old, as we think we are. |
AuthorJulia G. Smith is a writer of Life-Changing Decisions. Julia's unique style will encourage, inspire and nudge you to "push" past your obstacles, help you to achieve your goals and ultimately improve your self-confidence. Archives
March 2024
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