Ways to set your goals without feeling guilty.
When I didn’t meet my goals, I would get very down on myself. I felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill of striving and the stress was building up. I could feel a growing cloud of emptiness and loneliness taking over. I felt like something was wrong with me. My self-esteem went completely down the tubes.
But, in stepping away from goal setting, I realized something. It wasn’t necessarily the
goal setting that was making me feel bad. It was the fact that I was so attached to the outcome. I was attaching my happiness and self-worth to whether or not I was achieving
my goals. And those feelings of emptiness and loneliness, was my internal GPS trying to
tell me that I was way off course. My goals weren’t in resonance with my spirit. On the
other hand, when I achieved my financial goal for the week or month I’d be very happy
and proud even. But you know what? I realized that I needed to discipline myself by not feeling guilty.
Have you ever felt this way? Maybe it was a job you were going after, or a business you were building or the weight you wanted to lose. You started out excited and energized
and when you didn’t see things happening, you gave up. And told yourself you’re not good enough, lazy or just plain unlucky.
Well, here’s my first piece of advice. Stop it! You weren’t put on this earth to feel badly about yourself. No amount of self-degradation will get you anywhere. Maybe, the time has come to
re-evaluate your priorities and the way in which you approach them.
Goal setting can be a great tool for achieving and improving different areas of your life.
It can also be a source of frustration, disappointment and anxiety. It would be best to set
your goals with guidelines, hence making your goals: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.
Some people cringe when they hear the word “goals.” There are many different
approaches you can take to make changes in your life. In fact, you don’t even have to call them goals, if you don’t want to. How about “things I want to do”? Simply, find something you’re passionate about and do it. Clarify what you want and what you don’t want.
What one outcome would you like to make happen right now? Is there something you
can add to your life that can get you closer that outcome? Or, would getting rid of
something (i.e. a bad habit) be more beneficial? Each day try to do just one thing towards your desired outcome. Those simple actions add up over time and before you know it, you’ve got a life full of inspiration.
Make sure it’s a goal that comes from your heart or has meaning to you. Everyone has different driving forces, make sure yours is right for you. You’ll need to take action towards your goal, but don’t get hung up on the results. Know that whatever is meant to be will happen, but keep in mind, it may not happen according to your timetable.
Sometimes obstacles come up, but don’t let them throw you off. Think of it as a detour. Believe that the outcome will always be for the best. If one door closes, that means
there’s an open door waiting for you somewhere. You just have to find it. When one thing doesn’t work out, go back to the drawing board and try again. Don’t be afraid to admit
when you’ve outgrown a goal or simply don’t want it anymore. The sooner you admit it, the sooner you can move on to something that really inspires you.
You need to enjoy the journey. If it’s a true passion, you’ll be in it for the long haul.
Whether, you achieve your goal or not at least you’ll be enjoying yourself. If one of your action steps has you doing something you don’t like for a while, weigh the pros and cons;
is doing something as a “means to an end” worth it for you?
You need to know that you’re already worthy. Your self-worth doesn’t need to come from what you do or your accomplishments. You would need to have the end goal in mind, but recognize there are different paths that can lead to it.
Be creative; make a list of all the different ways you can fathom to achieve your goal. Have fun and be irrational, you never know.
Life-Changing Decisions by Author Julia G. Smith
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