It is amazing how much life can change in an instant.
It's amazing how much life can change in an instant. This is especially true, when you are faced with a break up. Relationships can consume us and just as they fulfill us, when they are moving along smoothly, they can completely derail us when they come to a crashing halt.
Losing a partner you love puts everything into perspective. Your life feels empty and without purpose. You wake each morning to the realization that he or she is not there and won't be there anymore.
It is natural to have numerous questions bouncing about in your head. You are wondering things like, "does he or she think about me. What could I have done to avoid this, and “will he or she, ever come back to me.
Worrying over whether or not, he or she will eventually come back to you is only going to prolong the suffering that you feel at this moment. Although you cannot predict what the future will hold, you have to deal with the end of the relationship, so you can move forward feeling stronger emotionally.
It would be in your best interest to face the reality of the relationship being over. You will never fully capture what you two had before, even if you do end up together again. What you had is gone for the moment and the sooner you can accept that the better off you will be.
Right now it is as if, you are stuck in the middle of an “emotional time warp” and you are frozen in that moment. Apparently, you want back what you had but until you accept what you lost, that cannot happen.
Leaving a break up unresolved is not good for either you and or your “ex.” Those negative feelings will permeate everything and any resentment that may be there will continue to grow. It is incredibly important that you wipe the slate clean, so to speak. You have to find
a way for the two of you to leave the past, where it belongs.
If your break up was difficult and painful he or she may still be reeling from that even, if he
or she was the one who ultimately decided to end things. If you were the one who ended the relationship and regret it now, the most effective way is to apologize to him or her. Perhaps, you could call him or her up and briefly explain that you do have regrets regarding the way you handled yourself before and during the break up. If you are afraid that he or she will not accept your call, then you could e-mail him or her and express your regrets. It can help towards healing and ultimately forgiveness.
Just as it took time for the two of you to build your relationship into what it was before the break up, it is going to take time to rebuild it. Trying to convince her or him to be your girlfriend/boyfriend at this point isn't going to go over the way you hope it will. He or she needs some time and space and most importantly, he or she needs some reassurance that
you are going to be a better, more understanding and compassionate partner the second time around.
Although it may sound daunting to try and convince your ex that you have changed, it's not. You just need to allow your actions to do the talking for you. In other words, become a friend to your ex and show him or her how, you can be supportive and helpful without pushing for anything more.
You need to change your ways. You need to be assertive in what you want in a relationship and stick to your commitments. Your “ex” will learn to trust in you again and before you know it, all those romantic feelings you both had will find their place again. All it takes is lots of patience and understanding and both parties have to come clean. Both parties must want the same thing and work together.
Life-Changing Decisions by Author Julia G. Smith
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