we find things about ourselves that we want to change, it is very easy to focus only on our flaws, and forget the positive attributes we already have.
For example: Say you want to build more meaningful relationships, but you have a lot of past blunders. You are likely to fall into the trap of thinking, “I am just an awkward individual, who doesn’t know how to interact with others.” “This is all, who I am.”
Let me give you a gentle nudge, more than likely this isn’t true. Instead, you probably have some positive experiences with individuals. You just aren’t as likely to recall them, while you are wallowing in your self-pity. (No disrespect intended). I am sure there are people who like you.
Now sit back and identify your positive attributes by making a list. Perhaps, you are smart, interesting, compassionate, generous, respectful, funny and loyal. Bear in mind that everyone’s list of positive attributes is going to be a bit different. It is crucial you remain honest with yourself.
It would be in your best interest to then expand on your list by recalling events in your life that reaffirm each attribute. By giving yourself periodic reminders on the things you have excelled at; you can better cultivate these qualities in the future.
Furthermore, by reflecting on these positive moments in greater detail, you may re-discover qualities about yourself that you had since forgotten. Use these past memories as a resource to learn from and build upon.