wants to hear. You know the old saying, “The truth hurts”
Have you ever had someone tell you something about
yourself, you didn’t want to hear? Even if it was the truth, and even if came from a place of caring, it still hurt, right? Still, the importance of being honest especially about your needs and feelings cannot be overstated.
So, how do you tell someone a painful truth?
It might be hard to ask of you to consider their feelings. While it is easy to only think about your feelings in any given
situation especially one you have contemplated deeply, it is important to give thought to how the other person is going to react to whatever you have to say. Their reaction will depend on what you say, and most importantly of how you say it.
If they were sharing this truth with you, how would you want them to do it? How would this truth make you feel? So put
yourself in their shoes. If you consider the other person’s feeling before you reveal a truth to them, you may end up hurting them less.
Being honest doesn’t have to mean being blunt or cruel. Just because you have to say something that might be rough, it doesn’t mean you have to say it in a rough way. Say it in the kindest way possible. This doesn’t mean you have to sugar-coat your words.
Just be careful with the words you choose. “I feel” statements are more effective than “You are” statements, so be sure to use them. One is an observation. The other is an accusation.
No one can argue with how you feel, but they can protest when you are blaming them for everything. In the words of Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” It’s easier to focus on blaming things that are outside of your power than to take responsibility for the things that are actually in your power.