Trying to live your life by the expectations of others disconnects you from your own desires. It leaves you feeling empty and unmotivated. The gratification that comes from fulfilling the expectations of others is very little and short-lived.
Sometimes, the changes are forced on us. Sometimes, they happen by accident. We make the most of them. We have to constantly and come up with ways to fix ourselves, so we change and create our visions of ourselves.
It is not discipline, willpower, or pressure from others that facilitates adherence to a challenging course of action; but rather the freedom to choose among alternatives, the personal commitment to a mission, and the willingness to take responsibility for the consequences of one's decisions that embolden the spirit.
Reclaim the happiness that is rightfully yours! Be your own judge and live by your own expectations. As you reclaim your potential, you will thrive and feel energized, because you are accomplishing things that are important to you. You should try to become more confident. Believe in your abilities! You are your own best judge.