When someone treats you badly, don’t tell them “it’s okay.”
When someone treats you badly or commits a wrong toward you, do not tell them "It's OK." Even, if they apologize and tell you they're sorry, do not ever tell them, "It's OK."
Saying that it's OK is not a clear acceptance of someone's apology. It’s not an acknowledgment of their acknowledgment of their wrong, and it doesn't make it clear that you're setting a boundary that their specific misbehaviour toward you is never to happen again.
Don't respond to an apology with an "It's OK." It is never OK to treat someone badly, and it is never OK to allow anyone to treat you badly.
Don't give someone who's mistreated you the idea that what they did is OK with you, just because you're forgiving them for their misbehaviour. Forgiveness does not make mistreatment OK.
You can choose to forgive them, even if they haven't apologized to you. For you to forgive someone doesn't require their apology. Your forgiveness is independent of an apology. An apology and forgiveness is two separate events and issues.
An apology given and forgiveness given resolves the event and the issue, but neither erases the wrong behaviour, as if it never happened.
Don't tell an apology giver that it's OK. If you tell them that "it's OK," you're telling them that it was OK to treat you badly. It's not OK, and you must never lead anyone to believe that it is OK with you. Don't EVER give anyone your “OK” and permission to treat you badly.
Wrongdoing is never acceptable, but an apology is acceptable, if you choose to accept it. There is a big difference between what's OK and what's acceptable. Communicate clearly that you're accepting an apology, but you are not accepting their wrongful behaviour towards you then, and in the future.
Life-Changing Decisions by Author Julia G. Smith
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