Distance is not the end of the world in a relationship.
Distance means “nothing” when someone means “everything.”
All across the world, there are couples just like you, who are crazy about each other, but are forced by circumstance to live apart. When you are trying to improve your long distant relationship, this can be hard
to do, if both parties are not strong enough to do it “together.” Some of the bad things that make a relationship go wrong; is you do not trust your mate. Perhaps you have a good reason not to trust your mate. However,
it will not get any easier, if both parties do not work on the problem “together.” The involvement is a 50-50 relationship and the key word here is “together.” It takes both parties to make it work, and not only one can
do it alone. So, both parties have to be in agreement to work on your relationship together, otherwise you are wasting your precious life.
Distance “cannot” and “will not” hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment and love. Although you may feel like you are losing faith in your relationship at times, hold fast and trust your heart! I, like you truly believe that love and relationships are what that makes your life special and meaningful. The foundation of your love built on honesty and trust are always worth preserving,
regardless of the miles that may separate two people.
There are different kinds of relationships across the miles and they require different things. You can ease
a lot of long-term discomfort and confusion by defining your expectations in advance. For instance, unless you're looking for a casual, non-exclusive relationship at some point, one of you is going to have to move.
That can add a whole lot of stress to your already strained couple hood. Are you evaluating whether one of
you will move and if so, does that mean marriage? Or, are you just trying to maintain the relationship as it stands now, perhaps in a different place?
There are ways to keep the connection through various means of communication. Late-night talks and thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is most important in the long-term: your goals, values and dreams. “True” companionship and connectedness is essential of a relationship, and you still have to prepare yourself for the absence of his or her warmth, smile and all the wonders of non-verbal communication.
Discuss your communication needs and limits. It's likely that one partner will need more communication, more than the other. Be prepared to be flexible. If you want more contact than your partner, try to be less demanding. If you need less, try to be a little more communicative than you might tend to be. Both parties
have to meet in the middle. For instance, if he wants to talk daily and you don't, perhaps you can commit to sending a one-line loving e-mail each day, just so he knows you're thinking of him.
E-mail is a wonderful invention for separated loved ones. On the other hand, be careful about relying on
e-mail to resolve conflicts. The problem here is that e-mail feels as casual as a phone call, but it's permanent. The words are there in black and white and the tone, intentions and content can all be easily misconstrued.
Just remember: this is a note and not a Talmudic passage to be read and re-read for every hidden nuance, message and subtext. Being overly analytical can be a real burden here. If you have an issue to resolve, try
to do it over the phone, Instant Messaging, going on CAM or in person. You even have other options to cut down phone costs, try calling your Beloved One, when you know he or she won't be in and leave a "thinking
of you" and “I just called to say, I love you” message on voice mail. You can also send care packages, little gifts and romantic cards, or peruse the selection of free greeting e- cards at various online websites.
However you do it, you need to be conscious of the costs involved and try to apportion them in a fair manner.
It can cause resentment, if one of you foots the bill for everything. That's a doubly sticky situation since it leaves the big spender, somewhat in control of the relationship.
In regards with visits, alternate who visits whom and consider meeting in the middle on occasion. Remember this: if you can't openly discuss your feelings about how you're spending money, you'll have a hard time building a long-term relationship with this person. Keep in mind that the tensions that arise now are opportunities to strengthen your relationship for the future.
When you are together, expect pressure whether it's because you have issues to discuss or not. Don't spend so much time agonizing over and planning out your time in concert that you forget to enjoy it. Every moment does not have to be perfect, or perfectly scheduled. Conversely, understand that the perfection of weekend getaways likely won't continue until a normal relationship is possible.
It would be lovely to spend quality time with your mate. Perhaps taking a walk together and talk about the weather, or other topics that reduces stress. It would be advisable to avoid stressful subjects until you are ready to discuss your problems calmly. One of the biggest mistakes people make is calling shots while emotions are soaring. This leads to a yelling match and no one wins. If you learn to communicate without
biting backs, you will learn to relax and control your emotions. Perhaps after you spend time together talking casual, you may feel in the mood to enjoy a romantic night together. It would be more fun and rewarding, if both parties are spontaneous. Ultimately, a normal and healthy relationship is the goal. By using some of
these suggestions will stop "separation pressures" that might prevent you from getting there.
When trying to make a bad relationship work, it can be difficult to do at times. There are times, when it cannot be saved at all. There has to be a good communication channel between both of you in order to even try to
get along. You have to sit down and find the real reason, as to why and where you went wrong. Do not make excuses; instead try to figure something out to make it better. If you cannot communicate then you won’t be able to work out your relationship. You may wish to discuss situations and issues with loved ones, but do not permit your family members, or other people to be involved in your choices and decision making. Remember, your relationship is between you and your mate. Failure to communicate is the leading cause of relationships and self-improvement falters.
It’s hard for one person to make changes by them self. It takes two to make a relationship grow, and it has
to take two to make it work. Nothing is easy. If both parties are strong enough to weather the storms and challenges together, you can make it through anything. You and your mate have been through some hard times. The deal is you have to improve your personal life. You cannot change anyone and for this reason,
the weight is on your shoulders to make your life better. Once you improve your life, your mate may take interest and start to improve his or her personal life. It is proven that good conduct speaks louder than any words. Improving your life takes action. The first thing you could do is to make a list, plan and set your goals
to change. Once you set your goals, start taking action to improve your personal life. Again, your mate may take interest and he/she too will join you in improving your lives together.
Life-Changing Decisions by Author Julia G. Smith
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